Episode 43.5

“Hello children…”

It’s absolutely bloody amazing that we remembered how to do this. Last show we recorded together was October of 2019. Since then Dave has had two new hips, and we’re now relocated to a new location. But here you have “The Almost Xmas MBR Special” - as it’s almost Xmas, right? This is the second of two shows recorded. The first comes out in the New Year. Bleedin’ pandemic, making everything timey-wimey. On this show you’ll hear:

Not adamantium, but aluminium.

Vampire kiwis and poisonous koalas.

Bob admits his true feelings. But he IS smoking.

There are 2 types of music: Contrarian and Western.

Fun facts about the new Benediction album “Scriptures,” It’s great. Not just good.

Insulting and alienating both hemispheres.

Being sent money for beer by a Charles Dickens villain.

The ghost of Xmas Spenceley.

Yet more fun facts about Benediction!

Humouric or turmeric? Have you not herb?

And for the finale we even wrote a special song.

Unfortunately, Billy Joel wrote it first. The total muppet.

It’s the MBR-orientated version of “We Didn’t Start The Fire.” Lyrics below:

Started 13 years ago, Metal Breakfast Radio

Donovan and Dave and all the beers began to flow

Bob and Kent then came to quaff, after Donovan fucked off

Exterminating rubbish with the flong win-tros

Carlsberg, Jagerbombs, IPAs for everyone

Broadcasting rubbish all the way to Venus

Band shirts and beer guts, lovely bunch of coconuts

The only thing that’s left to rhyme is Conte’s penis

We didn't start the fire…etc

(Can’t post all of the chorus else Billy J will get lawyered up)

Rubbish in your ear canal, Doctor Who and arsenal

Using nepotism is not cheating

Nice one Einstein, four minutes is too much time

Exterminate button is overheating

Death, Thrash, and Grindcore, Panda metal such a bore

Bands that cry over their score, they always bitch and whine

Chin chin, Wizard prank, Thanks for coming, Have a wank

Buckets full of cobblers, Bring me sunshine

We didn't start the fire…etc

Canada America’s hat, Donovan came up with that

He likes domination a lot

Gin and tonic with lime, shitty music, timey-wime

It all goes south when we do shots

Oh, yeah…

Nipples, cobblers, drunken squabblers

Islands of tranquility are a no-go

Nu-Metal is rough, it can get stuffed

Black metal necros, fuck off with your bongos

We didn't start the fire…etc

Diamond Kent and Thunder Bob, our own lynch mob

They’re no mirage, with their sonic triage

Bands under their duress, points system - what a mess

No score, we hate, now we will Exterminate

Mincing words and talking bull, are we sure the fridge is full?

Holy shit, no it’s not, let’s go to the bloody shop!

We didn't start the fire…etc

It has been quite a year, luckily we’ve all had beer

Lockdown, our town, nervous breakdown

MBR back again, how long shall we remain?

We’re not sure, we can’t say, all we know that Bob is gay

Every episode a farce, we get so drunk off our arse

Belts off, trousers down, life’s a scream, we’re clowns

This track has gone on too long, sorry Billy Joel it’s flong

Now it’s time to get it snuffed, Blow it up we’ve had enough!

We didn't start the fire…etc etc etc.

With apologies to Mr Billy Joel.

Actually, f*** that guy. He hasn’t put out a decent album since “The Stranger.”